Halapatov, One Day after the Wedding
“It’s so mature of Zara to step up and look after the girls so we could have this outing.” Robyn says as we approach the brunch place on Halapatov. “It’ll be nice to be able to relax without worrying about the children.” She glances at Mickey and quickly adds, “No offense of course Mickey. I’ve had a lovely time with them.”
“Oh, it’s okay, Robyn, I’m looking forward to some time without them as well.” Mickey replies, smiling. “It will give me and Steve the chance to practice our special language.”
Beth looks at him sharply. “You guys aren’t still on that idea? I’ve told you that you can’t invent a language based purely on looks and implications; it’s not a language at that point!! You’re just trying to invent telepathy, which is a real thing some species can do, but is a method of communication, not a language.” They spread their hands out and look between us, searching for backup.
Abigail touches my arm and speaks softly into my ear, “I get the feeling this is an ongoing debate.”
“Oh yeah,” I say back. “This is the most heated topic of debate within our group. Steve and Beth are always going at it over this.”
Steve is curled up in one of Mickey’s graspers, and speaks up in a much louder voice than usual, as normally happens when this conversation topic reappears. “Beth, I think you’re just jealous because Mickey and I have the type of bond that has allowed us to create a Language With No Signifiers.”
Robyn scrapes two of her arms down her face. “Please, can we not spend this event talking about your Language With No Signifiers.”
“I have told you all to stop calling it that!” Beth wags their finger in the air. I’ve seen Beth willing to die on many stupid hills for stupid stances in conversations, but this conversation topic is possibly one that they wholeheartedly believe in and feel like they must be proven right. “None of you have a degree in linguistics or communication. I am the only one who has ever worked in a communications role. If it was possible to communicate via inferences then why would speech ever have become an adaptational advantage to any species? Think of the energy that would be saved by being able to communicate without any signifiers. You’re all idiots.”
Of course, once you’ve died on multiple stupid hills everyone is more likely to make fun of you when you try to be serious for once. I mostly try to stay out of this discussion when it comes up. It’s usually pretty interesting to watch without extra input. I would expect Robyn to weigh in about now about how even though her main degrees are not in communication, she has also studied languages and is just as qualified if not more so than Beth to discuss the nature of spoken language and its purpose in a variety of alien societies. We are saved from this by the line moving forward and the Halapatovian worker at the front of the store ushering towards a table.
We are seated on a round table with a basket of pastries in the middle. I am eyeing them, thinking of the breakfasts Abi and I had on our trip to Halapatov all those years ago, how nice it all was before it got dark. I hope we have many happy memories ahead of us with nothing dark to spoil it. Robyn orders mimosas for the table, and after explaining to the waiter what a mimosa is and finding out what the closest Halapatovian equivalent is to have instead, she picks up the menu and asks me what I recommend. I smile at Abigail to the right of me as I tell Robyn about the different Halapatovian egg preparation methods, but Abi isn’t looking at me, she’s smirking at Beth to the right of her, who is absolutely fuming across the table. I look to the left of me and Mickey and Steve are on top of each other again and staring intently into each other’s eyes, not saying anything.
I wonder how they got back onto this topic, I don’t remember them doing this at all during the wedding. They haven’t brought up their Language With No Signifiers in years. I remember when they first became obsessed with it.
Alliance Base 17, Sophie is 19
Beth is staring at Mickey and Steve and fuming. I am a little bit worried about them. They’re not normally the intense type, at least not like this. I guess the main problem is I don’t understand what the big deal is; all Mickey and Steve are doing is talking about them hanging out over the weekend.
“Bro, that was the best weekend ever. You’re my favourite guy in the world and I want to spend my life with you.” Steve leans forward and bats his head against Mickey’s side.
“Brooooo, you’re literally the light of my life and I want you to move in and raise my girls with me. I would do anything for you.” Mickey hovers his grasper against Steve and sighs.
Okay, maybe this is kind of weird. Doesn’t explain Beth’s reaction though.
“HAHAHA!” Beth’s voice comes out all high pitched and forced, which does happen a bit when they’re talking to Steve. “Steve, babe, why didn’t you invite me to your guy’s weekend? It sounds like so much fun.” They grin in a very unnatural way. I feel like I’m always bearing witness to stuff like this, I am so out of my depth.
Steve shifts awkwardly and stammers. “Aaah, hah, hem, well, we would’ve loved to have you Beth but you know, Mick and I have a special bond. He’s my bro.”
“Bro, you’re my bro.” Mickey says, tearing up a little. “Hey, Steve, guess what bro?”
“What, bro?” Steve looks up at Mickey’s three eyes and then suddenly the room gets really quiet. They stare at each other for a long minute and then Steve starts tearing up too. “Bro, your mind is so beautiful bro, you just get me.”
Beth rolls their eyes. I am grinning, though I’m not really following any of this.
Mickey turns to us and smiles dreamily. “Steve and I have gotten so close that we can communicate without any need for words. We invented our own language.”
“It’s a Language With No Signifiers.” Steve nods along, speaking in the same dreamy voice.
Beth’s whole demeanor changes. They almost always look at Steve like he is a puppy or something, but now they look horrified. “What did you say?”
“A Language With No Signifiers.” I repeat helpfully.
If I thought Beth was fuming before, that was nothing compared to the look on their face now. “How can you even say that? It’s completely antithetical. You can’t have a Language With No Signifiers.”
“We do though.” Mickey says. “We just get each other.”
Beth closes their eyes and clenches their fists. “You can’t just say things like that. Language and communication are very serious things. I bet Robyn would back me up.”
They promptly leave and head for Robyn’s office. I stare after them, worried. Are they really going to bother Robyn while she’s in her office? That’s just asking for trouble.
Mickey and Steve continue to stare into each other’s eyes and then occasionally make comments until Beth returns with a very annoyed looking Robyn in tow.
She looks tiredly between us all and says, “So Beth tells me you’ve invented a Language With No Signifiers?”
Beth throws their hands in the air. “That’s not what I said. They’re claiming to have invented a Language With No Signifiers, which isn’t a real thing. Tell them!”
Robyn turns her head towards Beth and watches them for a minute. The display on Robyn’s suit head is absent of activity as she does so, and it’s really unnerving. “Do you have nothing better to do with your time than focus on this infantile nonsense?” she says eventually.
“This is important!” Beth pouts, crossing their arms stubbornly.
“I believe you have a backlog of work to get through that would be a better use of your time.”
“Actually, I should finish my report on last week’s visit to Thoo before mine and Steve’s wonderful weekend away.” Mickey pipes up and ambles over to his desk.
“I’ll help you Mick.” Steve says, “Our Language With No Signifiers is perfect for this sort of work.”
“You’re the best, bro.”
“Anything for you bro.”
Beth looks like they’re about to shout again as the two move off, but Robyn grabs their shoulder.
“Beth, I’m not sure why you’re letting this get you all worked up, but for the sake of all our sanity please let this go. Mickey and Steve had a trip together and this Language business is just an inside joke as is natural from such trips and I’m sure the novelty will wear off soon and you won’t have to hear about this anymore.”
Beth’s shoulders sag in defeat. “Okay, you’re right. It’s a stupid idea but I’m sure they’ll get over it soon.”
Halapatov, One Day after the Wedding
“Bro, we are so in sync.” Mickey says in a weirdly familiar tone, still staring into Steve’s eyes.
“Bro, you are so fluent in our Language With No Signifiers. I’m obsessed with you.” I might be imagining it but I think Steve throws a smug glance Beth’s way.
I think Beth is about to get up and start yelling but then our waiter comes back with six glasses and places them at the table. “Your drinks.” he says, and Mickey and Steve stop staring into each other’s eyes. Mickey sips at his glass and Steve leans over to Robyn.
“Still need to figure out what to order. What are you getting Rob?”
I glance back at Beth, who is swirling their drink around in the glass instead of drinking it and looking defeated.
“I wish I was still sideways in time.” They say grumpily.
“Come on Beth,” I attempt, knowing it will be fruitless. “We’re celebrating, all the stressful wedding stuff is over, let’s try some weird food combos.” I point at some choices on the menu but they don’t even pretend to look. Come on, dude.
“Weddings, pah.” They turn their head. “Do you remember my wedding, Sophie? When I thought I was marrying my best friend and a beautiful person but instead it turned out to be someone who thinks he can create a language that doesn’t follow any perceivable laws. I deserve to be with someone who cares about what's important to me.” They say all of this loudly so that Steve looks over from his conversation with Robyn and pulls a face at Beth in response. I think this is maybe flirting for them. I probably should understand this all better than I do. All I know is that this topic drove Beth crazy when they had a hopeless unrequited crush on Steve and now that that’s all worked out and they’re married and live together and everything they still get all riled up when Mickey and Steve act all gooey together.
Suddenly Abigail speaks up, surprising me. Normally she’s the one who loves to sit and watch conversations play out, analysing things as they happen so she can pick them apart later. I don’t think she’s ever known how to approach conversation with Beth; I feel like I should’ve warned her away from engaging in this topic though. “A Language With No Signifiers is of course an oxymoron by definition, but it’s not inherently a flawed premise.”
Beth freezes with their glass held near their head and slides their gaze across to Abigail. “You really think so, do you babe? I thought you were the intelligent one. Don’t buy into their stupidity like everyone else does.”
“You’re talking about definitions of languages, though. And by definition there are plenty of non-normative modes of communication that could explain the Language that Steve and Mickey are describing. Body language and shared memory that are not perceivable to outsiders but are internally resonant. It makes sense.”
Beth’s mouth curls up in response to Abi’s cool logic. Abigail meets Beth’s gaze defiantly, and the two are staring at each other so long that I get a little worried that they are inventing their own Language With No Signifiers. I think I see something change in Beth’s eyes, as if something has suddenly clicked and a slow, somewhat evil smile splits across their face.
“Body language, huh?” Beth says, and their voice sounds kind of different, I don’t know how to explain it really. They flutter their eyelids and reach out and touch Abigail’s arm. “Oh, I’m sure you’re an expert in body language aren’t you, Abigail?” Beth says Abi’s name really slowly and silkily, and then bites their lip pointedly. I’ve officially lost track of what’s going on.
Abi has frozen with her arm still being caressed by Beth’s hand. She glances quickly over at me and then away as if she’s panicking. I notice her eyes are kind of sluggish, which is weird. She looks at Beth again and then down, and then back up, seeming more or less back to normal after a few seconds of weirdness. I wonder what’s going on in that head of hers.
She pulls her arm from Beth’s hand and rests her chin on clasped hands, leaning forward. “I’d say so. I’m sure you couldn’t understand the intricacies of more intimate communication styles though, it can get quite difficult.”
Should I be worried about this? I glance over at the others. Mickey and Steve are communicating silently again, but with concerned expressions instead of lovey dovey ones. Robyn is leaned back in her chair, possibly on her third mimosa, counting the glasses in front of her. I wonder how soon the eggs will get here.
There is a weird zipping sound and I am very confused as to where it comes from until I see Steve shaking his head sternly at Beth, who smiles innocently back at him.
“What? It’s hot in here, I’m just getting some ventilation for my legs.”
I crane my head around Abigail and see that Beth is wearing their pants that have a weird opening on the inner thigh, and mesh underneath, so that they can cool off without like, getting naked. Abigail is also staring intently at the basically exposed skin on Beth’s thigh. It’s a pretty cool item of clothing, to be fair. Quite versatile.
“Beth.” Steve says out loud, and Abi’s whole body jumps as if she’s been jerked awake. She turns around and sees we all are watching her and Beth.
She shakes her head as if to clear it and grabs my hand, smiling at me reassuringly. “Sorry, got distracted. What did you want to order? How about those eggs we had when we were on Halapatov years ago?”
I smile fondly at her and agree enthusiastically.
Mickey and Steve uncharacteristically drop the Language With No Signifiers discussion for the rest of the brunch, and the weird tenseness disappears. It’s nice. I think of everything that has led to this day, not just the intense wedding and week and months of planning but the years of friendship and adventures and struggle that have led me here, to delicious food in the company of my favourite people in the universe. I make a mental note to take some leftovers for Zara and the girls so we can include them in this memory as well.
Robyn does not get quite as drunk as she did at our wedding, and before we get ready to go she raises her glass and says with surprising clarity, “A toast to the happy couple!”
Everyone raises their glasses and echoes the sentiment.
I look to Abigail, who smiles at me and then looks at Beth.
Beth smirks and winks, and I swear there’s an audible ding.